dazed_girl (dazed_girl) wrote,

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*Sigh* Chatrooms

I joined the MJJ Community forum back in July. There were a circle of members, including me, that got really involved in this one discussion there and last night they decided they wanted to take the discussion to a chatroom. Now, I really don't like chatrooms generally because of what happens when I'm there. A lot of the time I'm just watching the chat and not really participating because I don't know what to say or it moves too fast for me. But I decided to psyche myself up for it. These people (they're all girls) have all been really nice. I actually feel comfortable enough at the forum. I think everyone's pretty open minded there. Well I think MJ fans in general tend to be really nice anyway. So I went into chat and there were four of us. It was only about half the time the chat was actually on topic though, and believe me I did enjoy it when it was. But when they started talking about things I'm not really interested in, like girly stuff, I start feeling so out of place. So I end up just watching them talk and get bored and depressed, and wait for the topic to change back to what we were supposed to be talking about. It just kind of leaves me with the feeling or reminds me that I don't really fit in. I've never felt like I can completely belong anywhere. I've never felt that I can 100% connect with people and it's not a good feeling. So, I think chatrooms can be good but at the same time really frustrating. :( :/
Tags: anxiety, conversation, depression, frustration, internet

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