dazed_girl

Thanksgiving was pretty nice actually, and the food was really good. My mom used rosemary on the turkey, which made it taste really good. And we played games, and made some funny jokes. I was reading while waiting for the food to be done and my dad was saying how I could take my book and read while waiting in line at Disneyland. Then he came up with an idea for an invention where a chair is attached to your pants, so if you're tired of waiting you can pull it out and sit down. He calls it the "Chair Ass." ROFL! And my mom came up with the best slogan for this invention: "You'll cherish your Chair Ass!" LOL. Yeah, so it was a pretty enjoyable and funny night. :P

I was without internet last night and most of today. I had nothing to do. :( I think we're having some kind of problem with our modem, which sucks because it's not that old.

So, I went to my psychologist again yesterday and it was a much better appointment. I went in with a better attitude and felt more relaxed. We did this thing where I had to complete sentences. Example, "I Wish..." and I had to complete the statement. Kinda interesting. It enabled me to be more open and honest. Now I wonder what she'll do with my answers, if anything. She did ask me to elaborate on a few of them. Like I told her when I was a child I felt different from everyone else, and she asked me about when I started feeling that way. I really couldn't remember, so she asked me to take a guess so I said around 6th grade. Hopefully this means we're getting somewhere. Also she never even brought up the homework I was supposed to do or give me any new homework. Woo! I go back next Tuesday.

Today's Engrish



ROFL! Bee puke?

First off congratulations to Michael Jackson for winning 4 AMAs last night. Breaking records yet again! I also loved Janet's performance. I was smiling through the whole thing. :) And I'm really happy for Whitney Houston too.

I'm still sick. This is an unusually long time for me to be sick. It's getting really annoying now.

We got our Turkey. Having Thanksgiving at home. Grammy is coming over and my brother and Kourtnei are going to Kourtnei's grandma's house. My mom said she might make chocolate banana cream pie. Mmmm. And we're going to play some games.

I have my psychologist appointment tomorrow. I still haven't done the homework she told me to do. I don't want to change. My obsessions are my coping mechanism and I don't want to shift away from that. Without them I'm in emotional turmoil. I'm happy at least to be obsessed with something other than myself.

This performance right here makes me crazy (in a good way)



Been watching Bad tour stuff. Now I want to find Victory tour stuff and Trimuph tour stuff, and then Destiny if I can find it. I wish it was all on DVD.

I'm sick with what's probably the flu. It came on fast starting Tuesday. I'm all congested, coughing, and last night I had the chills pretty bad and a fever. No chills or fever right now though. I still feel ick. :/

But that didn't stop me from going out to get MJ stuff lol. I got the Dangerous Short Films and HIStory on Film Volume II on dvd, plus Janet Jackson's new Number Ones CD.

I finished the fourth episode of Tales of Monkey Island a few days ago. I have to say I prefer the first half, the trial part, better than the second half, which was pretty random and required a lot of "out of the box" thinking. However, the ending more than made up for it. A major exciting cliffhanger. This episode was actually pretty dramatic for being a comedic game. It quite took me by surprise. Now I'm really looking forward to the last episode, but I'm sad it will all be over. :( But maybe that means TellTale will be doing Sam and Max Season 3 next?

I've now been playing (since August actually) Perry Rhodan: The Immortals of Terra. It's a science fiction space opera adventure. I really love the atmosphere, and so far it's been a very solid and interesting game. Here's my gameplay video of it

Hmmm...I would say a photographic memory. That would be pretty darn cool.

This is undeniably my favorite performance of "Earth Song."

I went to Grammy's house yesterday to do some new work for her. First I did some simple task on one of her documents on her computer. Then we started going through her computer desk drawers. She has all these cards in there. I'm talking like Hallmark cards. She has tons and tons of them. She keeps getting them for free from making donations to various organizations. She even stopped giving donations, but they still give her the cards. So she has all these blank cards that filled up her drawers. I said, "Can't you tell them to take you off their list?" She said, "No." O_o So we spent a little over an hour sorting through the cards. She did want to keep some of them. I said to her on the way back driving me home that she could have opened up a store with all the cards she has. lol I might even borrow a few myself for Christmas or something. Would save me from having to buy or make a card for my family. Still not done with the drawers though. I go back next Tuesday.

So I got $5 for doing that. I have this money lying around, but I don't really buy too much so it just sits there. What's it going to be like when I have a job? I guess a good percentage of the money I earn would be saved. Living simple works best for me. I do however want to get these two things, I hope today

I just got back from the psychologist and I can tell already this is going to go nowhere. I just got the same old bs homework: talk to three strangers, by the time of my next appointment. I know I'm not going to do that. This is not going to work. I wish my mom understood that. I know I'm going to wind up pissing this therapist off...probably by my next appointment. Just watch. And that will be that. I already left with a pretty snarky attitude. I was laughing and rolling my eyes at the ridiculousness of it all.

The point is I know myself better than any therapist ever could, and I know what I'm going to do and not do. *wishing I could just poof into non-existence and not deal with this shit anymore*

Of course I think it would help more if the therapist could ask better specific questions, or else you're not going to get much out of me. I don't want homework, I just want to understand my own thoughts and be understood.

I can't believe my mom wants to waste her money on this again.

A few days ago my mom went and made an appointment for me to see a new psychologist without even telling me! Well maybe it's because if she did ask me, I would automatically say no. But that's er...kinda a breach of trust there. But I don't really care. I just don't see how she thinks this is going to help. I haven't had much success with psychologists in the past. She mentioned Asperger's on the phone and the lady said "Oh well I can refer you to someone who specializes in that if you want." My mom said, "Well, let's just try this first." This new psychologist I guess was referred to me by my old one. I stopped seeing her about three years ago because she retired. My appointment's on Monday, and I'm not exactly looking forward to it...I've still been on the fence about getting an official diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome. I really don't know what's going to happen... :/

Last night I got inspired to write a fanfiction based off of the Moonwalker film. It comes from the Speed Demon part. It's probably not necessary to have seen that movie to understand my story, but it probably helps. I really do like the way it turned out. I think it's cute. Here's the story

( Michael and Spike )

Episode 4 of Tales of Monkey Island is out now. So I have a new video. A very short one, but it's still very funny. This is truly the best and only way to get out of jail if you're posing as your own lawyer. I haven't advanced any further than this part yet. I'm predicting this episode is going to be tough for some reason, but perhaps a new favorite as well.



Fungus anyone?

Halloween kind of sucked. For the past few months I've become in a different state of mind that's leaving me feeling disconnected from my family. I have changed at a different level/wavelength to them. So knowing they are not at the same level leaves me feeling empty and alone. It's sort of a more enlightened state. I just feel like I want to escape and go to the place in which I really belong. I think that place is beyond earth right now, but I believe I will get there someday.

It's time to wake up.

It's hard to believe how out of touch people are about what's going on in the world, until you are confronted with it firsthand...

But seriously This is It was absolutely amazing, and funny, and phenomenal, and unbelievable. It's easily the best movie of all year. Of all year! Michael is in top form. The best I've ever seen. It isn't sad or anything. The best thing is that it really shows the real Michael, as a professional genius and as the sweet, kind, and funny person he is. I wish for everyone to see it. The whole world needs to see it, so go see it!

Halloween is tomorrow, but it doesn't feel like it. I think my parents are planning on doing something, like inviting our neighbors Eric and Donna over. Grammy might come over too. I don't know. I really wish I had a fedora + white glove + jacket right now. Well there's always this



:D

I just got back from seeing This is It. It was absolutely jaw dropping, and very very surreal. Oh god. Now I'm in a daze. I can't think straight. :( Why?!!!!!!!!!!! :(

Finished Moonwalk last night. Wow. Now I'm sad all over again. I wish he had written another autobiography (it was written in 1988), or at least extended this one, but it was hard enough getting him to write this one in the first place. It was Jackie Kennedy that actually convinced him to do it, and he had help. He didn't write it all on his own. He did talk more about himself at the end. I was extremely touched by it all. I just continue to think about how I have several things in common with him. I wish if he had had some kind of alternative life I could really be friends with him. *sigh* I'm in love all over again.

Going to start rereading The Hobbit by Tolkien now. We're going to be discussing it on my fantasy book club.

I'm reading Moonwalk right now. Actually I don't have much left to go, but it's really good. It seems to be more about Michael's musical making process rather than actually about himself. Although I don't know why I expected it to be different. Of course it is partly about himself as well, but mostly about the music. I'm just amazed at how he does it, and the way how he describes what his songs are like to him, for instance in this passage about "Everybody":

"'Everybody' is more playful than 'Off the Wall' dance tunes, with Mike McKinney propelling it like a plane turning and bearing down. The background vocals suggest 'Get on the Floor's' influence, but Quincy's sound is deeper, like you're in the eye of the storm--our sound was more like going up the glass elevator to the top floor while looking down, rising effortlessly."

I'm not even sure I know what he's talking about in that description there, but he obviously does or he wouldn't be the genius that he is. Who can talk about music in that way, other than a musical genius? :) I'm just blown away.

I changed my userpic to Zombie Michael for Halloween. :) I actually did a drawing of this exact picture a couple of weeks ago. It turned out ok, better than I thought it would actually. And considering I'm pretty terrible at drawing people, definitely faces, then I'd say that's quite good.

Going to see "This is It" on Wednesday. I'm really excited about that, but I think I will be feeling some mixed emotions afterward. :(

We went to Disneyland today. We had a really fun time, well at least I did. The crowds weren't too bad. My mom lost her sunglasses on the Indiana Jones ride because she had left them on her head. What a dope. I made sure to tell her this. :P We went to lost and found later and she filled out a form of what they looked like. If Disney finds them, then they will mail them to us for free.

Also we got in the front row on Thunder Mountain, which I took advantage of by sliding into my mom on the turns. I squished her lol. We were laughing so hard, but I guess I was being a bit rough. :/

Like I said, I had a fun time, but my mom was really exhausted from all the walking and whining a bit. I would think it would be no problem though considering what we went through in D.C.

I was being a bit devious today. >:)